{"title":"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe slogan exists because it's true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe dog runs the household. Not metaphorically — on a schedule the human has long since memorized. When to go out. When to come in. When to be fed. When to be petted. When to give up on the meeting and sit on the floor. Most dog parents will recognize themselves in the line before they finish reading it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThree designs, three different ways of saying the same thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eClassification Label\u003c\/strong\u003e treats the confession like regulatory documentation — clean, framed, declarative. The \u003cstrong\u003eChunky Retro\u003c\/strong\u003e says it warmer, with bubble letters and a wink. The \u003cstrong\u003eMinimal Classic\u003c\/strong\u003e sets it lowercase and unornamented, like an honest reply.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSame surrender. Three voices. 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A reader can take it as deadpan or as honest — the design will not insist on which.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat restraint is the design choice. Dog parents are smart. The shirt does not need to over-explain the surrender to people who are already living it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe tee is the version of this restraint that gets worn most. Plain enough to layer, plain enough to wear under things, plain enough to read at twenty feet without crowding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170–180 g\/m²) jersey knit, 100% cotton. Pre-shrunk. Tubular construction. Taped neck and shoulders. Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem. Tear-away tag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester. Ash Grey is 99\/1. 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The typesetting is regulatory — the kind that usually documents weights, voltages, ingredient lists. Here it documents surrender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA label makes a thing official. Used this way, it makes the wearer's admission official. The dog is the authority on the shirt; the human is staff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe tee is for the warm-weather version of that admission. The afternoon you're at the park because the dog is at the park. The hour your schedule has been re-issued from below the desk. The day you've decided to stop arguing about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170–180 g\/m²) jersey knit, 100% cotton. Pre-shrunk. Tubular construction. Taped neck and shoulders. Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem. Tear-away tag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester. Ash Grey is 99\/1. 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No dry clean.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor the days you've stopped pretending you're running anything.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"THiNK LiKE A DOG®","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":41290828578912,"sku":"5673438_11561","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":41290828611680,"sku":"5673438_11562","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":41290828644448,"sku":"5673438_11563","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":41290828677216,"sku":"5673438_11564","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290828709984,"sku":"5673438_11565","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290828742752,"sku":"5673438_12653","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290828775520,"sku":"5673438_12668","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290828808288,"sku":"5673438_12669","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":41290828316768,"sku":"5673438_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":41290828349536,"sku":"5673438_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":41290828382304,"sku":"5673438_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41290828415072,"sku":"5673438_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290828447840,"sku":"5673438_11550","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290828480608,"sku":"5673438_12644","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290828513376,"sku":"5673438_12645","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290828546144,"sku":"5673438_12646","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":41290829430880,"sku":"5673438_15867","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":41290829463648,"sku":"5673438_15868","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":41290829496416,"sku":"5673438_15869","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":41290829529184,"sku":"5673438_15870","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290829561952,"sku":"5673438_15871","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290829594720,"sku":"5673438_15872","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290829627488,"sku":"5673438_16253","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290829660256,"sku":"5673438_16254","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1305\/3475\/files\/unique-funny-dog-shirt-i-dont-know-just-doing-what-my-dog-tells-me-dog-icon-tee-555820.jpg?v=1738964802"},{"product_id":"funny-dog-shirt-bold-just-doin-what-my-dog-tells-me","title":"Just Doin' What My Dog Tells Me — Bold Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome confessions land better when the typography is having a good time about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis is the warm version of the slogan.\u003c\/strong\u003e Chunky two-tone bubble letters, a few sparkles, lettering that knows it's lettering. Where the Classification Label keeps a straight face, this design grins. The wearer is still admitting the dog runs the household — but the design lets them admit it cheerfully, the way you'd admit something that no longer embarrasses you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe retro-groovy treatment is doing real work, not decoration. The slogan is a surrender, and surrenders without warmth read as resentment. With the bubble letters and the sparkles, the message reads as relief. The dog is in charge, and the wearer is OK with that — happy about it, even.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe tee is the lightest version of the joke. Walking the dog in July, sitting on the floor with the dog in August, watching the dog ignore you for the squirrel in the yard. The kind of day where the chunky lettering makes sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170–180 g\/m²) jersey knit, 100% cotton. Pre-shrunk. Tubular construction. Taped neck and shoulders. Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem. Tear-away tag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester. Ash Grey is 99\/1. Heather colorways are 50\/50.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico depending on color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out, gentle cycle, mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang-dry for longest life. Cool iron inside-out if necessary; do not iron the print. No fabric softeners. 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The graphic does not box itself, decorate itself, or wink. It states a fact. The wearer can decide whether the fact is funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat neutrality is the design's whole argument. The line is already strong enough — it does not need bubble letters to land, and does not need a frame to look official. Strip both, and what's left is the sentence. A sentence is what the wearer says when they have stopped trying to make a moment of saying it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOn a crewneck, that quietness reads as confidence. The graphic is not trying to be the loudest thing in the room. It is the truth, set in plain type, on a sweatshirt the wearer is already at ease in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) cotton-poly blend, 50\/50. Air-jet spun yarn for a softer hand. Pre-shrunk. 1×1 athletic ribknit collar with spandex. Double-needle stitched at collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem. Quarter-turned to avoid a crease down the centerline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSourced from Nicaragua, El Salvador, or Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA note on the blend: this fabric releases plastic microfibers when washed. We're flagging it because we'd rather you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out, gentle cycle, mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang-dry for longest life. Cool iron inside-out if necessary; do not iron the print. No fabric softeners. 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