{"title":"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me — Classification Label","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is the version of the slogan that treats the confession like a fact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"I don't know\" sits at the top, framed like a label. \"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me\" sits below it, with a small dog icon beside it. The composition reads like documentation — semantic, categorized, plainly stated. The look of a parts bin, or the placard outside a museum exhibit, or the tag on the back of a piece of equipment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe joke is the form, not the words. A label says \u003cem\u003ethis is what this is\u003c\/em\u003e. Used here, it makes the wearer's surrender official. The dog is the authority on the shirt; the human is the staff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable as a tee, a crewneck, and a pullover hoodie.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"funny-dog-shirt-icon-just-doing-what-my-dog-tells-me","title":"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me — Dog Icon Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003ePeople buy this shirt when they've stopped pretending the dog isn't in charge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe design treats the confession like a label.\u003c\/strong\u003e \"I don't know\" sits at the top in a boxy frame, set like documentation on a parts bin. \"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me\" sits below it in its own frame, with a small dog icon beside it. The typesetting is regulatory — the kind that usually documents weights, voltages, ingredient lists. Here it documents surrender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA label makes a thing official. Used this way, it makes the wearer's admission official. The dog is the authority on the shirt; the human is staff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe tee is for the warm-weather version of that admission. The afternoon you're at the park because the dog is at the park. The hour your schedule has been re-issued from below the desk. The day you've decided to stop arguing about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.0–5.3 oz\/yd² (170–180 g\/m²) jersey knit, 100% cotton. Pre-shrunk. Tubular construction. Taped neck and shoulders. Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem. Tear-away tag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester. Ash Grey is 99\/1. Heather colorways are 50\/50.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico depending on color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out, gentle cycle, mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang-dry for longest life. Cool iron inside-out if necessary; do not iron the print. No fabric softeners. No dry clean.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor the days you've stopped pretending you're running anything.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"THiNK LiKE A DOG®","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":41290828578912,"sku":"5673438_11561","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":41290828611680,"sku":"5673438_11562","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":41290828644448,"sku":"5673438_11563","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":41290828677216,"sku":"5673438_11564","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290828709984,"sku":"5673438_11565","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290828742752,"sku":"5673438_12653","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290828775520,"sku":"5673438_12668","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290828808288,"sku":"5673438_12669","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":41290828316768,"sku":"5673438_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":41290828349536,"sku":"5673438_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":41290828382304,"sku":"5673438_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41290828415072,"sku":"5673438_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290828447840,"sku":"5673438_11550","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290828480608,"sku":"5673438_12644","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290828513376,"sku":"5673438_12645","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290828546144,"sku":"5673438_12646","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":41290829430880,"sku":"5673438_15867","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":41290829463648,"sku":"5673438_15868","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":41290829496416,"sku":"5673438_15869","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":41290829529184,"sku":"5673438_15870","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290829561952,"sku":"5673438_15871","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290829594720,"sku":"5673438_15872","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":41290829627488,"sku":"5673438_16253","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":41290829660256,"sku":"5673438_16254","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1305\/3475\/files\/unique-funny-dog-shirt-i-dont-know-just-doing-what-my-dog-tells-me-dog-icon-tee-555820.jpg?v=1738964802"},{"product_id":"funny-dog-sweatshirt-doing-what-my-dog-tells-me","title":"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is the cold-weather version of a confession the wearer has stopped resisting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe design reads like regulatory documentation.\u003c\/strong\u003e \"I don't know\" sits at the top, framed like the header on a parts bin. \"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me\" sits below it in its own frame, dog icon beside the slogan. Categorized, semantic, declarative. The look of a museum placard, or a shipping label, or a piece of equipment with a name printed on its side.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat's the joke. Labels make things official. Here, the official thing is the surrender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOn a crewneck, the design carries differently than on a tee. Sweatshirts are what people wear on the second walk of the day — the one they didn't plan, the one they weren't dressed for. The label-style print suits the moment. You're outside because the dog wants to be outside, and you've put on the documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) cotton-poly blend, 50\/50. Air-jet spun yarn for a softer hand. Pre-shrunk. 1×1 athletic ribknit collar with spandex. Double-needle stitched at collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem. Quarter-turned to avoid a crease down the centerline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSourced from Nicaragua, El Salvador, or Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA note on the blend: this fabric releases plastic microfibers when washed. We're flagging it because we'd rather you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out, gentle cycle, mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang-dry for longest life. Cool iron inside-out if necessary; do not iron the print. No fabric softeners. No dry clean.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor the second walk you weren't planning to take.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"THiNK LiKE A DOG®","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":41290921541728,"sku":"7867050_11254","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":41290921574496,"sku":"7867050_11255","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":41290921607264,"sku":"7867050_11256","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41290921640032,"sku":"7867050_11257","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290921672800,"sku":"7867050_11258","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290921705568,"sku":"7867050_13258","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ S","offer_id":41290921738336,"sku":"7867050_13252","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ M","offer_id":41290921771104,"sku":"7867050_13253","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ L","offer_id":41290921803872,"sku":"7867050_13254","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ XL","offer_id":41290921836640,"sku":"7867050_13255","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290921869408,"sku":"7867050_13256","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy Blazer \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290921902176,"sku":"7867050_13257","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ S","offer_id":41290921967712,"sku":"7867050_11259","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ M","offer_id":41290922000480,"sku":"7867050_11260","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ L","offer_id":41290922033248,"sku":"7867050_11261","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ XL","offer_id":41290922066016,"sku":"7867050_11262","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":41290922098784,"sku":"7867050_11263","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":41290922131552,"sku":"7867050_13260","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1305\/3475\/files\/funny-dog-lover-sweatshirt-i-dont-know-just-doing-what-my-dog-tells-me-to-do-918393.jpg?v=1738964784"},{"product_id":"funny-dog-hoodie-just-doing-what-my-dog-says","title":"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me — Dog Icon Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe hoodie is what people put on when the dog has decided the day is starting earlier than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe design reads like regulatory documentation.\u003c\/strong\u003e \"I don't know\" sits at the top, boxy and framed. \"Just Doing What My Dog Tells Me\" sits below it in its own frame, with a small dog icon. The visual logic is semantic — the look of a label, an exhibit placard, an equipment tag. The composition makes the surrender feel categorized, archived, plainly stated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe reason that works on a hoodie specifically: hoodies are confession-coded already. You wear one when you've decided not to perform the day. Adding a label that says, in effect, \u003cem\u003eI am no longer the one driving\u003c\/em\u003e only makes the garment more honest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is the dog's hoodie. The human is wearing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Garment\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e8.5 oz\/yd² (288 g\/m²) ring-spun cotton-poly blend, 65\/35, with a 100% cotton face for crisp print fidelity. Charcoal Heather, Carbon Grey, and Oatmeal Heather run 55\/45.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFront pouch pocket. Self-fabric patch on the back. Three-panel hood. Matching flat drawstrings. Tear-away tag. (For legal reasons there is also a small manufacturer's side tag — discreet, doesn't compromise the design.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSourced from Pakistan, where the fabric is also woven and dyed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCare: machine wash cold inside-out, gentle cycle, mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang-dry for longest life. Cool iron inside-out if necessary; do not iron the print. No fabric softeners. 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